Talia's Birth Story (Part 4)

Sat, 5/14/2011 – 40w5d

About 12:10 AM, the nurse started my pitocin @ 2 milliunits. I was standing next to the bed when she did this (because sitting kept throwing off the moni
tors and, honestly, just wasn't very comfortable) and instantly found myself leaning over the bed as a contraction hit me. The first two went fine. They were intense, but I managed. I was listening to Hypnobabies again, and it seemed to help me focus my attention away from my uterus. Then, I had another one. This one came on hard and fast, and it didn't let go. I started having flashbacks to my first labor when the nurses had messed up my pump while trying to hang my antibiotics, and I had a 3 minute long contraction during which I lost all control. It happened again. I started crying to Joel that it wasn't going away. I started to doubt myself, and panic a little. I was only on my third contraction (with very little pitocin) and I was losing it. I kept wondering how it could be that bad so fast. I couldn't hold still, which means the monitors were not staying in place (but I didn't care). I tried sitting on my ball while leaning on the bed, standing and leaning on the bed, getting up on my tip toes and leaning on the bed, nothing was helping. I asked Joel for counter pressure, but his hands on me felt worse than the contraction on its own.

I think I pushed the call button or something, but soon the nurse was in my room turning off the pitocin. I wanted to hug her for that. I thought they were turning off the pitocin because of the insanity of the contraction (it had to have lasted several minutes), but I later found out it was because I wasn't holding still for the monitor to be able to read. I continued to have contractions (on my own), but they were much less intense (easy compared to what I had just done) and were pretty far apart.

Sometime after 1 AM, Nichole and Christine arrived. I had my back to the door, but I felt their presence during the contraction I was having. I also felt a sense of relief and it was almost like the atmosphere in the room completely changed. I wanted Joel there, and participating, but I NEEDED these women. They had been in my shoes, and they knew exactly what I needed to hear and feel.

After a little while, Christine brought to our attention that the contractions were really far apart. I think she specifically said I hadn't had one since the one I was having when they walked in, and that they needed to be closer together for a baby to come. I didn't like hearing that (I won't lie), but I knew she was right. If this was going to happen eventually, we might as well make it happen. Joel called Anjli (she had us call her directly if we needed anything instead of going through the nurse) and told her that I had only been on the pit for 20 minutes, and it had been off for almost 45 minutes at this point. She explained that it had been stopped because of the lack of monitoring and that she would take care of it.

My nurse came in shortly after and got Waffle back on the monitor, and the pitocin was re-started at 2 milliunits around 1:30 AM (and was increased once, to 4, but I don't know when). The next few hours are a big blur, as I was most definitely in “labor land”. I stood and leaned over the bed for some contractions (which felt like having cramps and a giant balloon blown up in my pelvis simultaneously), but after a while the only thing that seemed comfortable was to kneel on the bed and lean over the back onto my pillows. I accompanied this with increasingly loud moaning (which left me hoarse the next day). It felt so good! Christine and Nichole took turns putting counter pressure on my sacrum, which felt so awesome and really made the discomfort of the contractions nearly disappear. Another tool in my bag (o' tricks) that became essential was my sack of cherry pits. I had this sack for about 9 or 10 years, and it was perfect for this situation. The heat felt great on my sacrum, and I would be anxious for it to return when they had to warm it up (Joel proof-read this and wanted me to make sure that I mentioned that HE was the primary warmer of the bag of pits).

Christine (left) & Nichole, my incredible doulas (and most importantly, my friends)

Every hour, my doulas would diligently remind me it was time to get uncomfortable and go to the bathroom again. That was hard. It probably would have been less of an ordeal if I didn't have to take cords and an IV pump with me, but we made it work. They would warn me that we were going to go after the next contraction, and they would have everything unplugged and ready to go, which helped a lot. Really, the worst part of it was the toilet itself. It was so uncomfortable (they should pad those things!), and I would have multiple, close contractions while I was sitting there. Then, when I finally got up, that would cause a contraction, too! While making my way back to the bed on one trip, I couldn't even make it from the toilet to the sink (maybe 3 feet) without having another contraction. I remember that one, specifically. I buried my face onto the nice, cold counter top and was standing on my tip toes. It reminded me of a birth story I had heard the week before at a Red Tent event, and the woman had mentioned that she was a “tip toe pusher” and would do this involuntarily. I mentioned the story to whomever might have been listening (but it wasn't aimed at anyone in particular).

The monitor was an interesting experience, and something I feel is worth mentioning. Remember how I said Waffle didn't like being monitored when we had the NST? Well, she still didn't like it. After the pit was turned on the second time, I would have to hold the monitor firmly to my body every so often so that there would be a good 15-20 seconds of monitoring. Apparently this was enough because the nurse never bothered me about it (or at least not enough that it is part of my memory of the events). The contraction monitor didn't work right, either. It could perfectly capture any of the contractions I had on my own, but once the pitocin was turned on it never budged. On paper it looked like nothing was happening. If it wasn't for my doulas timing the contractions (which were instantly qualifying as active labor), no one would have known what was going on.

All in all, I really loved my labor experience (I even liked my first one on maxed-out pit, so it didn't surprise me that I was having a good time). I was in “labor land”, but I also felt like I was present in the room (which is what I wanted). I didn't want to be completely in my own little world, I wanted to have a party! That may explain why I decided I needed 4 people to help me have this baby (and another to document the event). I enjoyed the moments at the end of contractions (and between them) when I could add some commentary to the conversation. The rest of my “good time” happened in my head (as it seemed to do during my first birth).

I have to throw in a note about what my husband was doing during all of this. When the doulas first arrived, I think he felt relieved and just stood back and watched. At some point, when things were really intense, he came over to my left side, put his hand gently on my back, and bent over next to my head and told me what a great job I was doing. It was exactly what I needed him to do. I remember a few tears of relief being released when he would do this, and I felt my body relax. We had talked about using the Hypnobabies cue, “Release” to remind me to relax and let my body do its job. He would say it, and I would refocus and really feel myself give in to the process.

At some point, I was leaning over the back of the bed during a contraction when I noticed that my right thigh was shaking a little bit. It felt more like twitches, so I didn't think anyone noticed. I figured it was from being in the same position for so long. At the same time this was happening, I started to feel just a tiny bit nauseous. I debated (in my head) whether or not to tell anyone or ask for a bucket, but then I decided that if I didn't say anything it would just go away. In my head, I was thinking that shaking and nausea are signs of transition, but I quickly pushed that thought out of my head because I knew I hadn't been laboring very long (and my first labor had gone 15 hours with very little progress, so what did I know?). Then a couple contractions later, I started shaking a little bit more. I heard Nichole (not so discreetly) say to Christine, “Do you see that? She's shaking.” I thought to myself, “She thinks I'm in transition! There's no way that can be possible, it hasn't been long enough!”

I think this may have been the point where I asked what time it was (trying to get a gauge on how fast things were moving). They told me it was “early morning.” To me, this seemed like someone knew that I was thinking about how fast things were going, and they were avoiding giving me an actual answer to keep me from thinking so much. I asked again. Someone told me it was 4 AM.

4 AM ?!?! Wow, things were just moving right along! A little while later, I was resting between contractions and I started wondering if someone had turned off the pitocin again because I felt like several minutes had gone by without anything happening. Literally, as I was finishing this thought, I heard Nichole say (to Christine), “See that? She hasn't had a contraction in a few minutes.” It was like she could read my mind! In my head, I was thinking, “She thinks that was the “rest and be thankful” that comes at the end of transition before it's time to push! No way! It CANNOT possibly be time for that yet.

I don't know if it was immediately after this, or a few contractions later, but I realized the sensations had changed, and what I was doing had changed. I was grunting through the contractions instead of moaning. One of the doulas (I think it was Nichole) asked me if I felt like I was pushing. I said I didn't know. I really didn't. I don't think it had sunk into my head yet that that was what was happening. When she asked me, I actually thought about it during the next contraction. I tried pushing a little, and it felt better than not pushing. She told me just to do what felt good. After a couple of pushing contractions I heard them tell Joel to call the midwife and tell her I was pushing. I think the first time he called he got her voicemail. As I continued what I was doing, I heard them tell him to call her back. It seemed like they wanted her to come sooner rather than later. He got through to her this time and she said she was on her way. I think this was some time after 4:30.

The urge to push got more intense as the contractions continued, so I pushed a little more with them. I trusted my body not to tell me to push if it wasn't ready, but at the same time I was just a tiny bit nervous that maybe I wasn't completely dilated and I didn't want to do any damage. Anjli showed up somewhere in there and asked if she could check me. I was still on my knees at this point, so she did her best to try to maneuver around me, but the positioning was just too awkward. She asked me if I would be ok to turn over onto my back. I didn't want to move, but I really wanted to know that it was safe for me to be pushing, so I quickly (as quickly as one can turn with all sorts of wires and things attached to them) flipped over. She did a quick check and declared me 8-9 cm. So much for getting past “the point where I got stuck in my last labor” - I was WAY past that now! Yay!

Being on my back was torture. I felt stuck in that position, because any time I tried to move I would be hit with another contraction. I pushed through them (since Anjli said I could, and I really couldn't help it anyway), but I tried not to push too hard since I wasn't completely dilated. I wanted to give myself a few minutes to open that last little bit. And, for the record, I have no idea how anyone pushes in that position because I felt completely ineffective.

After a few contractions, I was able to turn back over (that felt so much better!). I started feeling pressure in my hips, like they were being pushed apart. I asked if the baby was almost there, because I wasn't sure if what I was doing was effective. I couldn't feel her moving down on the inside, but my bones felt her. As she moved lower and lower, the only indication I had was that the counter pressure I was getting was moving lower, as well. It was like they knew right where she was. I never had to say anything (except I think I mentioned my hips). Anjli asked me if I wanted to try pushing on the toilet, and I thought, “Oh dear lord, if I have to move AND if I have to move to the toilet, that would just suck! No way! I will get this, and I will get this right here!” I also remember getting upset because my feet were falling asleep and the numbness was distracting me (it bothered me more than anything else at that point, which just tells you how much I hate to be numb). I think someone rubbed them to help me get over that sensation.

As I kept pushing, I started feeling the warm compresses (to help prevent tearing) that Anjli was applying (per my birth plan). They felt so wonderful, and they distracted me from the small tear I knew I was getting on my left side (which also indicated to me that she was getting ready to crown – I never could get out of my head completely). Then I heard someone say, “ Look, there's hair!” Then a push or two later, “Look, there's eyebrows!” Then, “Look, there's her nose!” All through this I thought to myself, “What is taking her head so damn long?” And then I heard the best news of all, “She's here! Turn around and get your baby! You did it!” Talia Hadassah Blaiss arrived at 5:29 AM!

I was warned to be careful as I turned around because there was fluid EVERYWHERE. Apparently, near the end of the pushing stage, my water had broken again (I felt the gush, but not a pop or anything else). It was all over the bed, the floor, and Anjli (sorry!)! I held my daughter in all her squishy, gooey wonderfulness, and I just stared. She was quiet, but her eyes were open and she was looking straight at me. Since her cord was left untouched, she was receiving oxygenated blood from her placenta, and in a minute she pinked up and gave a little cry. A few minutes later the cord was clamped and Joel got to cut it. She was free! The placenta came out easily and Anjli gave us a tour of it – including where the small first sac had been that had started us down this crazy path.

She's here! Holding my gooey baby, less than a minute old!

We did it!

The nurses were wonderful, too. No one was in a rush to take Talia or do anything to her. I held her as a few stitches were placed in my 1^st degree tear, and I tried to nurse her, but she wasn't really in the mood quite yet. When I finally got out of bed, I handed my baby to her daddy to hold for the first time. If I was going to give her to anyone, it was him. While I was getting cleaned up, she was weighed and measured. My big girl was 8lbs 3oz and 20.5 inches (See Baby had estimated her we

ight at 8lb 7oz – pretty close!) - much bigger than her brother had been (but three extra weeks to grow will do that for you)! The staff even asked me if I still wanted to wait to give her a bath (which we did, so I could enjoy that fresh baby smell for a long time). When I got back in bed, she was finally ready to nurse for the first time. Oh, how I missed that!

Daddy holding his sweet little girl for the first time!

My midwife, Anjli, taking a peak at Talia while we had our first nursing session.

Sometime around 7:30 AM we were moved down to postpartum (on the way, my L&D nurse kept saying how she couldn't believe how quick it went), and shortly after that my parents arrived with Eli. I was so happy that he never had time to realize we were gone, and he seemed to know exactly who that baby was in my arms. He was never once confused about why Talia wasn't in my belly anymore.

After my parents left, we spent some time enjoying our precious new daughter, just the two of us. The nursery nurse came and did her admission exam and she had her blood drawn because of the extended time with my water broken. Later that afternoon, I gave her her first bath (with almost plain water). What a perfect day!

The team (L-R): Anjli Aurora Hinman (our midwife), Joel, Me & Talia, Christine, & Nichole

Talia's Birth Story (part 3)

Fri, 5/13/2011 – 40w4d

I was awoken at 2:30 AM by some uncomfortable cramping and pressure in my lower abdomen and back. It felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, so I hauled myself out of bed (for the umpteenth time) and off I went. Nothing. When I wiped, I noticed that the discharge had turned orange, and I had a sneaking suspicion this was bloody show. Since sitting on the toilet wasn't very comfortable (foreshadowing!), I headed back to bed, but I couldn't sleep. Every time I would think I had gotten comfortable, the pressure and cramping would return. For a while, I thought it was just the the discomfort of being REALLY pregnant (although my husband always says you can't be really pregnant – you either are or you aren't). After 45 minutes or so, I finally realized that the cramps were continuously coming and going and decided to time them since I couldn't sleep anyway. They were 10-15 minutes apart and lasting 25-45 seconds – I was having contractions, time-able ones, on my own!!!! Since I never contracted on my own with Eli, I was pretty excited about this, and I was hopeful that things would continue. Around 4:30 AM I turned on my Hypnobabies tracks to help me relax, and I fell asleep. When I woke up around 7 AM they were gone.

At 10:30, we arrived at See Baby (the amazing office of our midwives' back-up physician – seriously, it's like a spa). I let the staff know that I also had an appointment for Monday morning, but that there was a very good chance I would be having my baby before then. They just smiled and nodded...I don't think they believed me at all!

We were called back and I laid on the table (which is more like a comfy lounge chair whose only resemblance to a doctor's table is the paper sheet on it), the monitor was placed, and I was given a button to push every time I felt Waffle move. Basically, the idea is to see how her heart rate reacts to movement. While I was laying there waiting for her to move (she was always more of a late night mover, so I wasn't worried), I had a contraction. I felt it AND saw it on the monitor at the same time. I watched her heart rate dip 20 beats at the beginning and then recover nicely as the contraction continued. Since the tech wasn't in the room with us when this happened, I explained what we were watching to Joel. I'm sure it didn't interest him one bit, but I was excited to see her react so well anyway (and to see myself have a contraction). We sat there, and sat there and she FINALLY decided to move – away from the monitors! She did not want anything to do with them, and she let us know. She did this several times. We would catch her heart beat, the strap would be readjusted, and then she would finally move, I would hit the button, and we would promptly lose her heartbeat. She also wanted to let me know she didn't like the pressure of the contraction monitor sitting on her hip (it was at the top of my uterus) and would push against it. This made me laugh. After about 20 or 30 minutes, the tech declared we were done (although I was pretty sure we had not passed because she didn't want to cooperate). As I suspected, she showed the strip to Dr. Bootstaylor (DocB) and he wanted us to do a BPP (biophysical profile) because he wasn't “reassured” by the NST strip.

The BPP went perfectly. They are scored out of 10, and Waffle got a perfect score! Her fluid level was measured at 18.45 which convinced DocB that my membranes were still intact. Even with those numbers, I still knew that I was right. There was a leak from SOMEWHERE. DocB was very nice when he tried to explain to me that it was likely that I had “just had a little bladder problem”, though.

When we got back to the car, I called Anjli. I was all set to give her the low-down on what had happened at See Baby, but apparently DocB has super fast texting skills and had already given her an update! That was VERY impressive. She said that she was at the hospital with another mom in labor, but would meet us at the office (which is closed on Fridays) at 1 PM to do a swab and see for certain whether or not my membranes had ruptured.

Since it was only 11:30, Joel and I took our time driving the 3 miles down the road to the midwives' office. We decided to get lunch at the food court at the hospital, which included a yummy cookies and cream milkshake from Chick-fil-a! I probably should have had that BEFORE the NST...oops!

We went up to the office and had to call Anjli to let us in since the door was locked. I thought it was SO nice of her to let us come to the office instead of having to go to the hospital, which is a much bigger ordeal. Plus, if I went to the hospital with ruptured membranes, they would have tried to keep me. She let us in and explained a lovely scenario of what we might do if my membranes hadn't ruptured. I wish I could remember the plan she had, but it was a good one! Everyone was SO convinced everything was intact – except me.

Going under the assumption that my water was, in fact, broken, Anjli had brought out a sterile tray with a sterile speculum. Her plan was to look and see if she could see any fluid leaking, and then swab to test for sure. She had to do this whole procedure without gel (not the most comfortable experience) because it could alter what she was looking at. She told me she didn't see anything leaking, but as soon as she placed the swab it instantly revealed what I already knew – my water had broken (about 39 hours ago, at this point). I think her reaction was something along the lines of, “Oh, yep! That changes our plans.” Because the risk of infection is increased every time something is introduced into the vagina after the sac has ruptured, Anjli didn't want to actually check my status, but she did a guess (based on what she saw when she was looking for the fluid) and told me I looked “about 1 cm”. That is NOT the greatest news to hear when you know that your baby needs to come out soon. I allowed myself to be disappointed for all of 30 seconds.

One of the things I love most about Anjli is that she always treated us like we were all members of the same team, which essentially, we are. I think, in all practices, the goal is a good outcome for mom and baby, but, for Anjli, how we got to that goal mattered as much to her as it did to us. And to me, it mattered a lot. A whole lot.

Unfortunately, we were nearing the end of her (and DocB's) 48 hour window of waiting for labor to start on its own so we needed to discuss our plan of action. Anjli asked me how I felt about pitocin. I told her that pain-wise it didn't bother me as I had been induced with it during Eli's labor and handled it fine. As far as the increased risk of rupture with me being a VBAC, it was a risk I would prefer to take before walking into an OR for repeat surgery. Hands down. We (all three of us) decided that I would go back to the acupuncturist for another treatment, and then we would walk or do some additional acupressure at home before meeting at the hospital around 9 PM for induction. She told us to call her when we were on our way in so that she could let the nurses know.

After we left the office, we headed over to the acupuncturist for my second treatment. As we were sitting in the parking lot waiting for 2 PM to roll around, I somehow managed to accidentally call (and hang up on) Christine (our other doula) at least 2 or 3 times. We finally got to talk and went over what Joel and I had discussed with Anjli. Christine suggested doing the acupuncture and then going home and taking a nap before dinner, since going to the hospital and laboring were going to happen through the night. This sounded like a good plan to me, although I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing what was coming. We also discussed possible methods of induction so that I could think about what I wanted before having to decide. I was pleased to have found out that pitocin was not off the table for me, as we had previously thought, and we also knew that since I wasn't very dilated (per the visual exam) a foley bulb was still a possibility. I knew that I wanted to start with the least risky interventions, so if my dilation was the same when we got to the hospital, I decided I would ask for the foley (even though I was told it was one of the more painful interventions).

The second acupuncture treatment went really well. As soon as the needles were in, Waffle started moving all over the place and the cramping started back up. It got more regular and a little more intense as the treatment progressed. The difference, this time, is that after the treatment, the cramping didn't stop! I told Joel that I had a little discomfort, but I didn't tell him that anything was happening because I was afraid saying something would make everything stop.

Round #2 of acupuncture

When we got home, we laid down for a nap. I turned on my Hypnobabies tracks, once again, and they worked like a charm and I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was excited to notice that the cramping was still coming every so often (maybe every 15 minutes)! We got up and went to dinner with my parents and Eli. I asked to go to Sweet Tomatoes because I knew I could get some soup and other nourishing foods for (what I thought would be) the long labor ahead of us. Because of the crampiness, I didn't have much appetite, but I managed to eat some chicken soup and a few other things. My toddler EASILY ate enough to make up for me not eating! After dinner, we headed home to finish packing the car and put Eli to bed for the last time as an only child.

Around 8:15 PM we left for the hospital. It was a quick drive, with very little traffic. I felt bittersweet about the whole thing. I really like that going to the hospital was such a non-event for both of my births (it is especially nice to do paperwork without the distraction of labor), but at the same time, I was hoping that THIS time I would get to be one of those women who would dramatically stop every five feet and lean on my husband or doula or the wall in the throws of a contraction. I wanted so badly to be in labor on my own (I sort of was, but it was very early, piddly labor). Oh well, maybe next time!

As we headed down the interstate and turned onto the street in front of the hospital, I put my headphones in my ears and turned on my Hypnobabies tracks. We had had a very difficult time putting the tracks onto my mp3 player, so finding the track I wanted was a bit of a challenge. At first, I thought Easy 1^st Stage never even made it onto the device (and was about to lose it over this minor issue), but just as we made that turn I found the track! I felt a huge sense of relief as I turned it on and allowed myself to relax and just go with the process.

I had called Anjli when we were on our way, but had to leave a message because she didn't answer. I figured she was with the mom that was laboring earlier in the day, and she would probably call us back. We arrived at the hospital at about 8:45 and went up to Labor & Delivery. We checked in at the desk and told the nurse that our midwife had sent us to be induced. I really enjoyed the look on her face when I told her my water had been broken since Wednesday night! They apparently did not know I was coming (because Anjli was busy with the other mom) so they put us in triage until they talked to her.

Our triage nurse was very nice. She came in and had me change my clothes and get settled on the bed. She offered me a hospital gown, but told me she didn't really care if I wore it or not. Since I had been planning to wear a tank top and the birthing skirt I made, it was nice to know that I wasn't going to have to start my experience with an argument of any kind. The nurse hooked me up to the monitor and seemed intrigued by my skirt, but appreciated the way I had made it user-friendly for the staff. After I was all wired up, she asked me some questions and someone from lab came to take my blood. The nurse said she wasn't going to check me since my water had broken and we knew Anjli would be there soon.

My "hard-on-the-eyes, but incredibly comfortable" birthing skirt!

Trying to be a good patient. I was either texting my doulas or posting on ICAN on my phone...

The whole time I was sitting in triage I continued to feel crampy, and laying in bed was really not very comfortable. Every time I tried to adjust myself Waffle would come off the monitor, but I didn't care since that whole thing was for the staff and did absolutely nothing to enhance my experience. Around 9:15 PM Anjli came to see us. She apologized for us having to be in triage when we should have been directly admitted (didn't bother us – we're very easy-going). She noticed me holding my beads and asked me if they were from a Blessingway. She told me she had thrown several for some of her friends, and thought they were great. I was excited to show her the beads and tell her a little bit about some of them. After this, she got ready to check me and see where we were starting from. It was really comical to watch Joel be her “assistant” and help open packages of lube. It was a big production. The final result of her exam? 3-4 cm/80%/ about 0 station. (Which I promptly posted to ICAN and texted to my doulas.) Anjli was please with this, and I was both pleased and nervous. We were both happy that I had obviously made some good progress on my own in the last 8 hours, but I was nervous because when I went into my induction for my first birth I had been 3 cm/80%/-1. After a minute or so I got over my fear of this experience being like my first. I reminded myself, in the words of Kerry (the voice/founder of Hypnobabies), “This birth and this baby are unique unto itself.” I knew that this time things would be different. They had already been so very different. At one point, earlier that day, I turned to Joel and reminded him that when we were in this situation last time, our child had already been born because they didn't believe in my body.

The entire experience, even though it wasn't nearly over yet, had just solidified to me how wrong my first birth experience had been. It wasn't just handled poorly, it was handled WRONG. My body had not been ready, my baby wasn't ready, it just hadn't been the right time.

We continued to sit in triage (watching Liar, Liar) on TV as we waited for a room to become available. At 11 PM I finally got annoyed and sent Joel to the nurses' station to find out how long it was going to be. I don't usually like to be the annoying patient, but I was here to work, and the longer I sat around with nothing happening, the more tired I was going to get. That just wasn't going to work for me. Ten minutes later, my triage nurse came back in, unplugged my cords, and escorted us to LDR 8 – with a GORGEOUS view of the downtown Atlanta skyline.

When my triage nurse had left us, she told me to just plug myself into the monitor whenever I was settled. I took this as an invitation to take a break from monitoring (which doesn't bother me so much as the thought of being physically attached to a box). I took a bathroom break and then we started decorating our room. I had borrowed Christmas lights from a friend so that we could keep the overhead lighting low and still have a nice glow in the room – we plugged those in and laid them along the window sill. Next, we unrolled the “Happy Birthday” sign I had made online – we ended up hanging it on the bathroom door. I set a big bag of candy next to the fetal monitor with my birth plan and baby care plan. (It was for the staff – although my team ended up eating some of it because the nurse just left it there after I suggested she take it to the nurses' station. She kept saying she would wait until later...she thought I would be laboring for a long time!) Once everything was in place, the room felt much more like a party was going to happen and much less like a boring hospital room, and that is EXACTLY what I wanted.

Joel stringing the lights. I kept the room dark, and they gave a nice glow.

I finally plugged myself back in, and my new nurse came in and started getting everything set up to start. I had to get another 20 minute monitoring strip to make sure Waffle was doing fine before they started the pitocin. The nurse had me lay in bed, and I had to stay still so she could get what she wanted. I obliged a little bit, but only because I was busy calling Nichole and trying to decide if I wanted my doulas to come. Christine had told me earlier that she thought this would not be long and drawn out (or something like that), so I finally decided to have them come (and I'm SO glad I did). My back and hips were already getting uncomfortable, and I knew that adding the pitocin would just intensify the feeling.

Talia's Birth Story (Part 2)

Thur, 5/12/2011 – 40w3d

In between making trips to the bathroom every 30-90 minutes, I managed to sleep about 4 hours through the night (with the help of my Hypnobabies tracks). Around 5 AM I couldn't sleep anymore, but I rested and just enjoyed being alone with my baby and my thoughts. At 6 AM we called my parents to let them know nothing had changed, and they headed out on the road shortly after. Around 7 AM Eli woke up and we all just hung out around the house. I played around on my birth ball – sitting and bouncing on it at times, and leaning over it others. I made a conscious effort to play with my son and spend this precious time with him, and we talked about how baby Talia was coming to live with us very soon.

Sometime that morning I had gone onto the ICAN of Atlanta forum and posted about what was going on. I wanted to be able to share my excitement and nerves with women who understood how I felt. I was hesitant to post about it because I was still in denial that my water had broken, and I didn't want to look completely stupid if it turned out that was not the case. I think in my heart I had come to terms with what was happening, just not in my head. I also made a post to the Hypnobabies and HBAC yahoo groups (not sure if I did this the night before, or that morning). The only other person that I told (because several hundred people weren't enough) was my friend Katie. She was in charge of notifying the women who had attended my Blessingway when I was in labor so that they could all send good thoughts and prayers for me and my baby.

Thinking about it now, I realize that although I didn't know 90% of the people who I told about the beginning of my birthing time, I somehow felt deeply connected to them. They were genuinely excited for me to be at this point, and I knew that they were all cheering me on. At the time, I think that knowing that all over the world there were women who were thinking of me made me feel strong and energized. Now, it just makes me teary-eyed with thankfulness.

Anyway, back to the story. Around 8 AM I got in touch with Nichole, who wasn't too thrilled to hear I had only slept 4 hours that night. She promptly told me to take a nap (she also recommended a visit to the chiropractor, but I had seen her the day before and she doesn't work on Thursdays). I did as I was told because I didn't know what else to do, but also because I was just tired. The novelty of my water breaking had worn off (thankfully) and there was plenty of work ahead of me. I took a nap for a couple of hours and then joined my husband and son for lunch.

Earlier, Nichole and I had started talking about things that might encourage labor to start (now that I was rested). Since acupuncture had been mentioned to me a week earlier, I decided this sounded like a good option to consider. I quickly got back on ICAN and contacted a few women who had experience with it in hopes of finding a practitioner who could see me that day. Elaine got back to me pretty quickly and directed me to Acupuncture Atlanta in Buckhead . I called them up and explained my situation. Immediately, I was given the direct phone number to an acupuncturist (Nicole Circija) and she told me she could see me at 4 PM! I wasn't too crazy about shelling out $100 on a therapy that may or may not work, but at this point I was willing to try anything. The website for the company also has lots of good info on acupressure, so while Eli napped Joel did some acupressure on me. I had a few mild episodes of cramping during this, but nothing exciting.

Around 3 PM my parents arrived from Florida and Joel and I left for our first round of acupuncture. Since I am scared of needles (I know, ironic for a nurse), I made sure to bring my mp3 player (to listen to Hypnobabies) and my Blessingway beads. I wrapped the necklace around my wrist twice to form a bracelet. Having it with me, feeling the beads, and thinking of each of the women who had gifted them to me was very calming. I never felt alone or scared or even the least bit worried.

The acupuncture appointment was a really cool experience. Most of the needles she placed didn't hurt (except my little toe, but she explained that's because there isn't a lot of flesh to anchor the needle in), and it was really cool to feel my uterus immediately reacting to the stimulation. My baby was moving all over the place, I was having mild and sporadic contractions, and I was feeling very encouraged. The whole procedure took about 40 minutes. During that time, the acupuncturist gave Joel some tips on doing acupressure and she gave us a moxi stick to use at home if we needed it (which we never used). She also told us that if we needed another treatment we could come back the next day for free. We decided to set the appointment and told her we would call if something happened. So glad we made that appointment!

On our way home, we checked back in with our doulas (not sure who I was talking to at this point) and we updated our working plan – eat dinner, call midwife, take a walk, go to bed, and check in in the morning if nothing changed. We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner (I was hoping the spicy foods might help something), Joel tucked Eli into bed, and I called the midwives. I was a little nervous making that phone call. It sort of equated to calling the principal and turning myself in, I guess. It seems silly now, but that's how I felt. I suppose it was just another step in admitting that something was happening.

One thing I really love about our midwives' practice is that there is no “on call” service to deal with. You simply dial the office and press “1” and you are instantly connected to whomever is on call. That night, it was Anjli. We saw Anjli on our very first visit to Intown Midwifery at 20 weeks (when we opted out of our homebirth plans), and then I hadn't seen her again until my 40 week appointment just a few days earlier. I remember feeling very at ease with her after our first meeting, and I had secretly been hoping she would be on call when my baby was ready to be born – and here she was!

I told Anjli what had been going on over the past 21 hours (of course, she wanted to know if I was SURE my water had broken, and I told her I was pretty darn sure), and we discussed our options. She told me that she had to offer me the option of coming into the hospital that evening to be induced, but I could tell from her voice that she wouldn't have voted for that option if it was her decision (at least that's what it sounded like). We decided that I would go for a walk to give labor one last bit of encouragement for the evening, and then go to bed. In the morning, I would go to my NST (as originally scheduled) and call her after that to discuss where we stood.

So, Joel and I headed out on our neighborhood hike. On the way out, we pulled Eli's carseat out of our car and I hauled it up the hill and installed it into my parents' car. I figured it didn't matter if I was carrying heavy objects, since it could only help! We set off around the neighborhood, and I had a few contractions during our walk, but nothing that made me stop. We returned home, I took a shower, and we went to bed.

Talia's Birth Story (Part 1)

Wed, 5/11/2011 – 40w2d

I noticed that “Waffle” was more active than usual as we watched TV and got ready for bed. I started having a sharp stabbing pain that felt like if I didn't go to the bathroom RIGHT THEN that my bladder would explode. Off to the bathroom I went, but as usual, not much happened. Then, as I got ready to stand up, I felt a small pop and a little leaking. At first, I thought it had just been a gas bubble because when it popped I had a huge relief of pressure in my lower abdomen. And I thought the leaking was just me needing to pee more because “Waffle” had moved (also thinking this had changed the pressure feeling). I sat there for a minute and felt some more leaking, but just a trickle. I also noticed it had a warm sensation. All of a sudden I had a flashback to when my water had broken in my first birth, and it occurred to me that maybe that's what had happened. It was 10:15 PM. Since amniotic fluid has a distinct smell (or lack there-of), I checked for it. The fluid on the toilet paper had no color, and it had that musky, sterile smell. I was pretty sure what it was, but I was still in denial that it was happening again.

I ran to the computer, hoping one of my doulas was still online and that I could check in with her there instead of having to call or text message since it was so late in the evening. I was SO happy to discover that Nichole was on Facebook. I quickly messaged her and we discussed the situation. I told her I thought my water had broken, but that I just didn't feel sure because if it did it was a slow leak (as opposed to the dramatic gush I experienced with my first birth). She had me check and see if I could tell where the fluid was coming from. While I was following her suggestion I felt a small gush (like my bladder releasing, but without the sensation) and my hand was suddenly covered in fluid. Once again, I smelled it. Yep, it had that “smell”. I ran back to the computer to report my findings. We talked about whether I wanted to tell anyone (including Joel) about what was going on. I decided not to call the midwives (because I already knew they had a pretty generous 48 hour PROM policy, so I had plenty of time to do things on my own before they needed to be involved), but decided to talk to Joel about making other calls.

I went back to the bedroom and woke up Joel (who had fallen asleep waiting for me), and told him what happened. At first, he got really excited, but then he quickly calmed down and remembered how long our experience was with our first birth. We discussed calling my parents, since they were going to come stay with Eli. We decided to call them and tell them to leave in the morning, since they had a 7 hour drive. I called two of my back-up babysitters to try to give them a heads-up in case we needed them in the middle of the night, but neither one answered their phone. I figured I would deal with that if it became necessary, which it never did.

We went to bed, and of course, my husband was asleep within 30 seconds. He always is. I turned on my Hypnobabies nightly tracks – starting with “Baby Come Out” (which I had been listening to for two days) and did my best to get some sleep. I knew we had a long road ahead of us.

She's here!

Status: 10 days old!

Talia Hadassah

was born May 14, 2011
@ 5:29 AM
via VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean)

She was 8 pounds, 3 ounces and 20.5 inches

She decided to come in her own time - 5 days past her due date! Birth story (which will be REALLY long) to follow!

I'm still me....don't forget!

Status: 40 weeks, 2 days

Two great links for you to check out:

#1) A Friendly PSA to Help Your Very Pregnant Friends

#2) Have you had that baby yet?

Enjoy!

Belly Mapping

Status: 40 weeks, 1 day

On Saturday, May 7, I went to a Mother's Day Tea thrown by ICAN of Atlanta. One fun little activity we did was a process called Belly Mapping. I'm not very good at it, but Nichole, one of my doulas, helped me to figure out Waffle's position (ROA). We confirmed it by ultrasound, and then I had it painted on my belly!

The Final Countdown

Status: 40 weeks, 1 day

Wow. I never dreamed that I would be sitting here, still pregnant, at this date. On one hand, it blows my mind that I am "overdue" (we'll get to that), but on the other hand I am REALLY proud that Waffle and I have been able to do such a great job of giving her the time she needs.

Although Eli was considered "term" when he was born, we always considered him early. I was never able to have contractions on my own, and he had a few issues that are more common in premature infants - he just wasn't ready (and neither was my body). This pregnancy making it past the 40 week mark has just solidified to me that I know my body and that he really was early.

So the whole topic of "overdue". There's a reason that a due date is called an ESTIMATED Due Date. Some babies cook just fine in a lesser amount of time, and some need a bit more to be well-done. I look at it this way, if one, two, or ten days more spent in the most perfect environment is what my baby needs, then that's what I will give her. She doesn't have an eviction date. As long as she behaves, then my job is to support her and allow her to do what she needs to do. The perinatologist that backs-up our midwives is comfortable with going until 43 weeks as long as all the tests are fine.

If she's still in there, 3 days from now we will go for an NST, and 6 days from now a BPP (I had this with Eli). Until then, I will continue daily kick counts to monitor the baby myself, and I'll just enjoy things as they are.

My Doula Story - Part 1

Status: 39 weeks, 1 day

Our local ICAN chapter started a discussion on why we think doulas are awesome, which led to this website - Why a Doula?

The first half of my story (the "Why I regret not having one") was posted today! Take a look, and if you have your own story to tell, or the story of a friend/daughter/wife/etc. feel free to submit it!

Homemade Fluff!

Status: 38 weeks, 0 Days

I have never, ever attempted to make anything related to diapering my children. I buy it all from people who know what they are doing, with the exception of wet bags, of course. As part of my nesting spurt, I decided to give fleece soakers a try! They were SO SO easy, and super quick! I can't wait to make some more!

For those of you not familiar with cloth diapering, a soaker is a cover that goes over a fitted or prefold (which are not waterproof). Fleece is water repellent, so as long as you change the diaper often enough you can reuse the cover. They are super soft and oh, so cute!

This is the first one I made - just a simple soaker (with attitude, of course)!

Then I decided to go a little fancy and I made a soaker with attached skirtie!
These are both newborn size.

More pregnant than ever before!

Status: 37 weeks, 4 days

So here's the thing. With Eli, my water broke at 37 weeks and 3 days, and he was born at 37 weeks and 5 days. However, his due date was adjusted early in my pregnancy from 9/22 to 9/19. By MY calculations, he was technically born at 37 weeks and 2 days.

I didn't have an early ultrasound with this pregnancy, and I have always based my EDD on my chart - 5/9. My midwives have it set as 5/6, though. Just like Eli, they have it 3 days earlier. So on their chart I am 38 weeks today!

I got into some good nesting last night. We finally chose outfits for Waffle to wear home, are 80% finished packing our bags, and although our house is a crazy mess (who has time to do anything with a toddler?) we are ready to welcome our little princess.....and now, we wait.

Making Informed Decisions

Status: 37 weeks, 1 day

Throughout this pregnancy, I have become more involved in my local ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) chapter as I work toward my goal of a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).

Last weekend, we held our annual Cesarean Awareness Month rally outside of Northside Hospital (where Eli was born). Here is me with my rally poster:


And just yesterday, this documentary, "Birthrights: The Risk of Choice" was aired for the first time. It features ICAN of Atlanta, a few of the active members, and the 2 most supportive doctors I know! You can also see glimpses of one of my doulas, Christine, sitting next to the meeting leader during the discussion part of the video.

A pic for you...

Status: 36w1d


I need to take an updated picture, but here is a glimpse way back at 34w5d!

Some missing pictures...

Status: 32 Weeks, 6 Days

Here are a couple of pictures I have been having trouble getting onto the blog.....

30 Weeks, 2 Days


32 Weeks, 0 Days

Hypnobabies

Status: 30 weeks, 5 days

So I promised y'all a while back that I would tell you about all the exciting things that are going on as we prepare for Waffle's arrival. Sorry to inform you that it is not nearly as eventful as with Eli. However, one new thing we decided to try (well, I decided, and Joel went along with it) is Hypnobabies.

I first heard about the program from a friend who used it during the birth of her daughter. Then, as I read through other birth stories, I found that it was actually a very common technique that helped a lot of moms have successful, un-medicated births. After reading more about it, we decided to invest in the home-study program (you can also take it as a 6-week class, which is what my friend did). I knew that I couldn't convince myself, let alone Joel, to commit to being somewhere every week, so I figured this would be a good compromise.

When most people think of hypnosis, they think about the goofy people up on a stage being told to do things such as "cluck like a chicken", which they do, and then are brought out of hypnosis and don't remember anything. That is not how this program works, at all.

The basis of Hypnobabies is to retrain our minds to view birth differently (than mainstream). Over the course, participants learn to create a "Bubble of Piece" (BOP) to keep out unwanted horror stories and the like, respond to cues that create a sense of inner peace, and gain confidence in themselves as women and mothers.

My intentions going into the program were to use it as a tool to help me relax during my pregnancy (as I am prone to becoming anxious) and to focus on this experience being different from my first. Hypnobabies stresses that "this birth and this baby are unique unto themselves" and not to dwell on the past.

I listen to the tracks each night as I go to sleep. I practice visualizing the birth I desire, and Joel helps me by practicing the cues he will use help me feel safe and at peace.

This is just the general idea of the program, but if I find the time I will elaborate on what we have learned each session. We are starting our last piece this week and then will begin maintenance to continue practicing the techniques until Waffle's Birthday!

Meet Our Birth Team!

Status: 29 weeks, 1 day

Since we are getting closer to the finish line, I thought I would introduce you to the wonderful people who will be assisting across the finish line!

First up - me!
I'm probably not the first person you would think to put on the list, but I think I deserve top billing for toting around this little lady (for however many weeks she decides to stay put) and then helping her out into the world. Don't you?

Next up - Waffle!
She has to do her part to get herself lined up properly to make her entrance. I think she deserves top honors, too!

Daddy, of course!
Joel is the most wonderful husband and daddy to Eli, and he has already shown his commitment to his little girl, as well. He knows the kind of work (and patience) it takes to bring a child into the world, and I know he is excited and ready for this next one! He has been great working with me on my Hypnobabies Homestudy course (more to come on that, later), and he is always willing to rub my back, help me up off the ground, make sure I am eating and drinking, and doing his best just being the awesome person he is!

Our Duo-Doulas!
Ever since Eli's birth, I've known that I wanted (needed, actually) a good doula to help me through any future births. There are tons of great doulas in our area, and I'm friends with several of them, so it was sort of hard to choose.

I met Christine & Nichole during my training to become a Baby Steps instructor (back in October '10), and after getting to know them a little more over the last several months I began to feel like these were the right women to help me through this experience. Joel and I (and Eli) met with them a couple weeks ago to do a formal interview. Even though I knew them, Joel had only seen them in passing, and we had never talked about me - just birth in general. When we left the meeting I knew we had found our match.

Both women are doulas on their own, but they have recently decided to try "Team Doula-ing", and I gladly accepted that for $100 more I could have TWO awesome support people instead of one. How great is that? Instead of 1 set of tired arms to rub my back or squeeze my hips, there are two. Instead of one great mind trying to find new ways to help me through the process, there are TWO. To me, it really felt like the pressure was completely lifted off of Joel to do anything but love on me and hold my hand during the birth of our baby girl. They support both of us.

I also love that they are instructors for the same program I'm trained in. I think it makes it easier to know we are all on the same page - plus, they're my friends!

Our Midwives
I mentioned them about 2 months ago, but they are worth mentioning again - Intown Midwifery and their awesome back-up doc, Brad Bootstaylor of SeeBaby!

Week 25/26 pics

Status: 26w1d25 Weeks, 1 day

26 weeks

So I am OBVIOUSLY doing a horrible job at keeping up with this blog. But honestly, this pregnancy is SO uneventful (especially compared to Eli's) that I would bore you all trying to give you information.

Topic for my next post.....Hypnobabies!

It's a........

Status: 23 weeks, 6 days

I'll admit, I'm behind (what's new?). I had planned to write this post almost 2 weeks ago, but it never happened. And then Iced-out Atlanta happened, and well, here we are.
So back to the topic at hand....

It's A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had our ultrasound and everything looked great. Baby Girl is growing right along schedule. At the time of the ultrasound (22 weeks) she had an estimated weight of 1lb 1oz. She has all her fingers and toes, all her body parts, and she's a wiggly little thing!

I have been enjoying feeling her flipping and stretching for several weeks now, and yesterday she gave her daddy a swift kick in the hand! He is so funny because he jumps and almost squeals when she does it. So cute.....

Change of Plans

Status: 21 weeks, 6 days

I'm not really sure how to go about getting to the point of this post, so I'm just going to say it - we are no longer planning a homebirth. This didn't just happen. Actually, the official decision was made almost 2 weeks ago, but we didn't want to say anything until we knew what our new plan is going to be.

Let me just say right now that NO ONE TALKED US OUT OF IT.

A few things happened throughout the course of this pregnancy that had us re-evaluate the plan to homebirth, and after several events we no longer felt that it was the best decision for us. And I emphasize, for us. At this time.

We both still agree with and support the right of women to choose where and with whom they give birth, and we would consider homebirth as an option in the future. Hospitals are there for a reason, and we feel that their services are necessary for us at this time.

Now, about the new plan.

We are now being seen by the midwives of Intown Midwifery and will be birthing at Atlanta Medical Center in downtown Atlanta, GA. We are really happy with the new practice we chose, as they are well-known in the Atlanta birthing community for their respect for women's bodies and their ability to give birth. They have an amazingly successful VBAC rate, too.

We met with Anjli on December 30th for our first appointment. She was so enthusiastic and reassuring, and she and the rest of the staff made us feel like real people, and not just a number. There was no hurry, nothing mandatory, and just lots of peace and calm.

We listened to the baby's heartbeat with the doppler (I didn't catch what the rate was) and Anjli said I was measuring 24 weeks (I was only 21.3). I joked with her that it better not be twins! My weight gain has been good - I'm still at or about a pound below my pre-pregnancy weight, and she wasn't worried because I am eating and avoiding *most* foods that aren't too healthy.

So that's what's new this week.....